From school forms to family conversations, silence can feel safer, but it often comes at a cost. In this blog, we explore how military spouses and parents can use their voices to get the support they deserve in school, in relationships, and in everyday life.
It’s easy to stay quiet. You don’t want to be a burden. You don’t want to make a fuss. You don’t want to tick that box on the school form that says, “Armed Forces Family,” because maybe it won’t make a difference anyway.
But speaking up does make a difference.
Tick the Box
Shelly, a teacher and military spouse, shared on our Married to the Military podcast that many families skip that small checkbox on school forms. And yet, that one tick can unlock real support:
- Access to Service Pupil Premium funding
- Extra pastoral care
- Staff awareness of deployment cycles and emotional strain
- Compassion during transitions or difficult behaviour
Without it, schools may treat military children as though they’re just like everyone else, when they’re not. These kids are often managing solo-parenting households, sudden moves, and months without one parent.
As Shelly said, “You’ve got families who’ve been separated for six months, and schools won’t even authorise a day off to welcome that parent home. Why?”
Say It Aloud
Roberta, one of our podcast guests, bravely shared her story of living through, and eventually escaping, an abusive relationship. Financial control. Physical violence. Disrespect so profound it left her questioning her worth. It took a year and a half to find her way out.
“I was on my own, and terrified, and pregnant,” she said. “I had to make a decision to either commit myself to a life of hell or leave.”
What gave her the strength to leave? Naming the abuse. Acknowledging that it wasn’t “just stress.” Refusing to excuse it anymore.
Whether you're navigating a strained relationship, raising a military child, or trying to find your feet in a new posting, using your voice is the first step to finding help. You are not alone, and you deserve to feel safe.
Speaking Up is a Skill
It doesn’t have to be loud. It doesn’t have to be dramatic. Sometimes, it sounds like:
“My partner is deployed; my child might be more tired than usual.”
“I need some extra space this week, I’m feeling low.”
“Can I just check what you meant when you said that?”
Or even just: Tick. That. Box.
We can’t change what schools don’t know. And we can’t get support for things we don’t name. Whether it’s your child’s military status, your own emotional exhaustion, or the weight of unspoken abuse - silence doesn’t protect us. Speaking up does.
Keep Going
If you’re looking for extra support:
🎧 Listen to Roberta and Shelly’s episodes:
Episode 1: Domestic Abuse in the Military Community
Episode 5: Supporting Military Kids
👩🏫 Join Roberta’s Facebook group for military spouses in or seeking education:
MilSo Education Group
📚 Browse our children’s books that explain military life
🛍️ Shop Gifts & Apparel for Military Families
📥 Download the Op Boss starter guide — a free resource for military spouses starting a side hustle
✍️ Read more blogs for military families
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